Read my previous article on some background information of my break here.

Everything underlined on this page is linked (in case you'd like to read more on it)

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The past year has undoubtably been the hardest of my life. For those of you who don't know why I've been away for the past year and a half, I've been suffering from a few different mental health disorders - more than since I made my previous post (July 2019). But for the first time since coming into hospital, there is now finally a plan for my treatment and discharge.

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Are there any changes since your last post?

Yes - quite a few, but I'll try and keep it brief for your sake. As the last post says, I was hospitalised in March 2019 (detained under Section 3 of the Mental Health Act) after a serious attempt on my life. I've been in hospital ever since. But in September 2019, after six months on an NHS acute mental health ward, I was transferred to a private (NHS-funded) rehabilitation unit - this is where I still am today.

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Part of the reason for the transfer was because I was given a new diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD, formerly known as Borderline PD), as well as my Severe Recurrent Depressive Disorder, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Auditory Processing Disorder (diagnosed 2010). This new diagnosis lead to my consultant requesting a transfer to undergo a full psychological assessment with the recommendation for DBT treatment - neither provided with the NHS.

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I've now been at this new hospital undergoing assessments which have come out with two further diagnoses: Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Sensory Processing Disorder. All of which make a lot of sense to me now. However, my consultant and psychologist here have now recommended me for a course of CBT as they feel this will help more with my symptoms (such as rapid mood fluctuations). So in summary, their plan is more to treat my symptoms rather than a particular diagnosis (which is what DBT does).

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When will you be back?

Well the course for CBT is six months long, so the very earliest I could possibly be back home is August 2020. Though if this is the case, I'll probably want to take some time to adjust being back in the community before I get back into YouTube.

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Could that timeframe change?

Yes - mental health is very unpredictable, but what's more likely to push that timeframe back is if the treatment doesn't work. CBT is just one of many types of talking therapies and there's no guarantee it'll work. If two months in I decide it's not right for me, for any reason, we'll go back to the drawing board and look at other types (e.g. behavioural activation, IPT, DBT, BMCT, EFT).

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There's no one-size-fits-all treatment for mental health conditions - especially when you have a few disorders like me - so it's better to take it slow and get it right, than rush things and end up back in hospital later on.

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Can we do anything to help?

Not really anything extra - you've all been amazing! It really does help when I read all of your messages of support and can see how patient you all are for me to return - it means a lot.

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Though as I said in my last post, I am still running the [Omitted] from hospital and it's certainly keeping me busy! So if any of you have a YouTube channel, head over to [Omitted] and sign up!

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Conclusion

Things are finally looking up. I'm certainly not in as low a mood as I previously was, my anxiety is very slowly improving and I now have a six-month treatment plan in place to start this week.

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I'm really looking forward to being able to get back into YouTube, and from today I'm going to be getting back onto social media and replying to YouTube comments. I guess I just miss you all so much!

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Again, thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this, it has genuinely kept me going on my dark days and I really wouldn't be here without you - yes the person reading this - you. STOP! I am literally talking to you! I read these sort of things all the time and never actually realise what it's saying - you, the person reading this on your phone, laptop or whatever, have saved me. Thank you.

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Keep simming Blue Arrows. I am on my way.

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Jack

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